Why Men Don’t Understand Women

Sorry, ladies, but I tend to understand why men don’t understand women.
Nowadays we thrive in being emancipated: we make our own living, pay our own bills and we try not to depend on anyone else but ourselves. But, when it comes to dating, we raise our eyebrows when he offers to go Dutch when the check arrives.

Normally, We Women are very balanced, organized and happy. Except for a couple of days a month. Those days are referred to by my friends as “Normally I am happy, but for two days a month, I just want to die.” or as “The Dark Days.” Those special days of the month, we tend to send many signals and mixed messages to our loved ones. But as most men don’t get hints or signals, that’s where everything goes wrong. Normally we adore him, but during those special days he gets under our skin, just for being himself, or for breathing. We sit on the couch, next to them, and then it happens.

We start breathing really loud. “Hm,” he thinks, “..she’s kind of breathing loud.”
“Is there something wrong, honey?” he innocently asks us.
But of course, we say “No.”
“Okay. Good.” he thinks, while he launches another angry bird on his tablet.

But his very own angry bird is sitting right there, next to him, fueling up on arguments. Because of course we are mad. We are furious. And the way we said no, should have been his cue. It’s just that most men don’t get that signal. They hear no, so that’s no. No is no, right? At least, that’s what we normally preach them to understand. Except for these moments.

When the Husband – completely unaware of his wrong doing – keeps playing Angry Birds on his tablet, we walk towards the kitchen, drilling our heals into the floor. When that doesn’t help, we start doing the dishes in a very loud manner. So loud, the Husband looks up from his birdies and thinks “Why is she throwing dishes around the kitchen? They’re going to break.”
If he dares to step in to the kitchen, asking if we’re sure there’s nothing wrong, that’s the moment our anger volcano erupts.

BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS WRONG. Of course everything is wrong! We lose our patience and blurt out all of the things we are annoyed by, the things we think he should do without us having to ask for it, and most of all, we drag a few very old mistakes from the past right into the present, just because we can, because we’re women, and we REMEMBER EVERYTHING.

When the Husband has endured our eruption of anger, he stands there wondering whether he will keep anything in the divorce, while we run off to the bathroom to cool off. After which we feel guilty and bad for yelling at him that way, cause after all, he isn’t nearly as bad as the neighbor’s husband. And we do love him, still. If only he would help out a little more around the house, and if only he would breathe normally.

It’s not always easy being an independent modern woman. Actually, it can be pretty exhausting. Sometimes we just need to be very unreasonable, for absolutely no reason at all. That’s why it’s not easy being a modern man. Sorry, men.

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